BIG IDEA: The extent of our communication should be more than rules, correction and punishment. Communication must also include encouragement, correction, rebuke, entreaty, instruction, warning, teaching and prayer.
Types Of Encouragement
Our speech must change based on the situation. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 reminds us to warn the idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. When rebellion is not thep problem people need instruction, not rebuke.
1. Encouragement - When people have a sense of their sin and wrongdoing but struggle to change, they need encouragement not rebuke. Christ came to change people who have no ability to change themselves. Sometimes parents only know rebuke and correction. Encouragement must be part of communication.
2. Correction - Sometimes children need conformity to a standard. They need to know what is wrong and how to fix it. We must help them to see where they're falling short of God's standard. That is one of the functions of God's Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
3. Rebuke - There are times when your children must sense your alarm and dismay at their behavior. Harsh language that hurts others deserves a rebuke. Other words and other forms of communication should follow rebuke (instruction, prayer, encouragement).
4. Entreaty - At times we must plead, urge and beg our children to come to God or comform to His ways. We used this method of communication in severe moments. See Proverbs 23:26. Entreaty might be used perhaps when talking of sexual sins or purity or the danger of apostasty.
5. Instruction - Lessons are important. Teaching how to live in the world. Information is needed to know, think and live properly towards God and others. The book of Proverbs helps with this sort of communication. Teach them about wisdom. Teach about laziness. Teach about mockers and the foolish people of the world. God's Word will make our children wiser than their teachers. See Psalm 119:98-100.
6. Warning - Life has dangers. They need to be on guard of pitfalls. Warnings are gracious and merciful because they give our children a preview of pain to come and how to avoid it. Provers is full of warnings like Proverbs 12:24 which teaches that laziness leads to poverty. Proverbs 16:18 says that pride goes before destruction. At times our children need warnings. And it's good to teach them these things before the dangers arrive. Let's get God's Word into their minds so that they have these cautions and warnings well ahead of the time they may need them. This is not the same as yelling or rebuking. It's teaching them the sow-reaping principle.
7. Teaching - Knowledge must imparted. We have to help them know the Word. They'll need to draw upon the knowledge of God all throughout their lives. Knowledge will help them know God for worship, know themselves to grow in holiness and know the world to avoid its pitfalls and evil ways and what they need to be reconciled to God.
8. Prayer - Knowing how they pray gives a parent insight into their soul. Children must also hear us pray so that they can see our relationship with God and our faith in Him.
Summary
There are many forms of communication. We must grow in wisdom and in our understanding of our children to know what forms of communications we should use in a given situation. Sometimes the way we communicate to our kids will have multiple forms or a blended version of them.
May God help us to shepherd our children better.
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