BIG IDEA: There is a lot of change from infancy to childhood, from birth to ages 4 or 5. Change is the primary characteristic of this period.
Primary Characteristic - Change
(1). Physical Change
(2). Social Change - From mother, to father to extended family to church family to even their own friends
(3). Intellectual Change - The child learns words, concepts, values, etc.
(4). Spiritual Change - The child may or may not be shepherded spiritually. They will begin to know and love God or they will begin to serve other gods in rebellion to the true God.
Understanding Authority
(1). One Big Lesson - Your child is under authority. See Ephesians 6:1-3
(2). Godward Focus - They must see obedience as a response to God. They will never submit to you without knowing this truth. Children's submission to parents is a subset of submitting to God. Establish this truth early in their life--right way.
Circle Of Blessing
(1). Things Will Go Well - See Ephesians 6:1-3. They must obey you for their sake, not yours.
(2). Safety Rather Than Danger - Physical danger and spiritual danger are a risk when children don't obey their parents
(3). The Rescue Function - Communication and the rod restore children to safety
Honoring Defined
Honoring a parent means treating them with respect due to their position of authority. The parent must train their child to do this. The parent must be honorable in their conduct and demeanor.
Children must not command their parents or speak to them as they would their peers. A parent who treats their child with respect and dignity will learn to treat their parents that way.
Obedience Defined
It's the child doing what they are told without challenge, excuse or delay. Submission to authority means that the child will have to do things they do not want to do.
Call For Consistency
The rules have to be the same every day. Never allow your children to disobey you without addressing it. To disobey is to move out of the circle of blessing and to put themselves at danger.
Process Of Appeal
Once the child knows how to obey, then they can be taught how to appeal to their authorities. You cannot accept refusal to obey, but you can teach them to appeal to authority (See Daniel 1). The appeal process on their part allows you to consider if you have spoken too harsh or in haste. They need to know that their parents can rescind their directives if it's for good.
Pattern For Appeal
(1). You begin to obey immediately
(2). You must be prepared to obey no matter what
(3). You must appeal in a respectful manner
(4). You must accept the outcome of the appeal with a gracious spirit
Parents should habitually say "yes" to the appeal unless there is good reason not to. We can't be lazy and not think through their appeals.
We must model submission at home, at work, at a state level, at church.
Shepherding Your Children In Godly Attitudes
The gospel is irrelevant to a child who's been told how good and perfect he is all his life. This is not biblical communication or parenting. We know our children are born with a sinful nature. We must show them their sin in relation to God so that the gospel will be good news to them. We must address their actions and their heart with biblical communication.
Benefits Of Learning To Live Under Authority
God has promised to bless that child who lives under his parents' authority. A child trained to live under authority will understand the gospel better. A child trained under authority will learn that he has to listen to God, not himself. A child trained under authority will realize that our hearts that produce evil actions have temporal and eternal consequences.
Save Time - Do It Right
Don't wait to teach them to obey without challenge, delay or excuse. It's harder to try and teach them later when they've learned the sinful habit of disobedience.
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