BIG IDEA: Communication serves both the positive and negative aspects of disciple, training and correcting, encouraging and rebuking.
A Life Of Communication
Deuteronomy 6: lying down, waking, walking, sitting. We must talk to them regularly, not just when they're in trouble.
Shepherding The Heart
This involves helping children to understand themselves, God's ways, God's works, the human heart and how the gospel meets our deepest needs.
Counting The Cost
It requires time and flexibility. We need to seize opportunities of conversation when they open up. When it happens, we may need to stop other things to give them attention and see into their hearts. We must be good listeners. Listening isn't shutting up so you can prepare what to say next. See Proverbs 18:2 - fools do not delight in understanding.
A wise parents talks when the kids are ready to talk! Even at 1am. Don't chase unimportant matters in your conversations. Be wise. You should show repentance toward God. Acknowledge your own sin and ask forgiveness of your kids when you sin against them.
Counting The Blessings Of Paying The Cost
(1). Parent-Child Relationship - Children know when they have a relationship with people who are wise and discerning. Pressures during teen years can pull children away from home towards people who "understand them." That should come from home and church.
As children grow older, our ability to control them through raw authority diminishes. They may refuse to go to school when they are 16 and your size and age can't force them to go. You must lead by influence earned through trust. Trust is earned by showing them you love them, you understand them with their strengths and weaknesses, and you have invested in them with encouragement, rebuke, instruction, entreaty, correction, warning, understanding, teaching and prayer...proper and varied types of communication. When they listen to your biblical words and it works, they grow in trust.
(2). Preparation For Relationships - Communication is the art of expressing in godly ways what is in my heart and of hearing completely and understanding what another thinks and feels. Home is the place to develop this.
(3). Full-Orbed Understanding Of Life - We need to be concerned with not only what happens in life's circumstances but why things happen.
(4). Redemption Integrated With Life - Our communication is meant to give them a biblical view of mankind. They need to learn of humanity's sin problem so they can see the need for Christ and how He fixes that problem. We are perpetrators and victims of sin. God's redemption plan restores us. Guiding them in this and towards this continually helps them to be prepared for a life of their own with God.
Is Is Worth The Cost?
Parenting is one of our most important tasks from God. We must invest ourselves in good communication. There's no re-do in raising our kids. We get one shot. There are some things you won't be able to succeed at because of parents (perfectly clean house, career, golf game, etc). You can't put a price tag on how blessed it is to raise children in the Lord.
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