BIG IDEA: Training objectives for infants are different than training objectives for childhood (ages 5-12).
Childhood
This is the age from starting school to puberty. Independence is growing along with personality. More time is spent without oversight of the parents. New experiences are everywhere. Abilities are defining interests.
(1). One Big Issue
Assuming your child knows they were created by God and under His authority, they will now be confronted with situations that can't be reduced to issues of obedience.
(2). Character Development
They need to develop character. They need to learn dependability, honest, kindness, consideration, helpfulness, diligence, loyalty, humility, self-control, moral purity and a lot more. You won't always be with your child. They need wisdom and a developed conscience.
(3). The Change In Focus From Stage One
Obedience is the focus for infants. You must address behavior that is wrong but not defiant. Example: Selfishness and ridicule are wrong but not defiant. We must help them see sinful attitudes and behaviors that are not directly related to defiance of a parent. If a parent is busy doing things, it's good to teach our children to be concerned about others.
(4). A Common Sidetrack
How do you address the child who's eating all his candy without considering the possibility of sharing with others? He's not being mean or defiant or disobedient. Yet we want to teach them to share. You could ask them to share but then it becomes a matter of obedience and you're trying to shape their heart, not just their behavior.
(5). The Problem Of Phariseeism
Creating rules for everything doesn't fix the problem but creates smug and self-righteous people who only keep rules. They might be clean on the outside but they are filthy on the inside like the Pharisees.
Three-Pronged Tool Of Diagnosis
We need a grid to chart strengths and weaknesses so that we can focus on their real needs.
(1). The Child In A Relationship To God
Is your child living in conscious need for God? What is the content of their relationship with God? Doe they show a concern to know and love God? Do they go to God for comfort and help? Are they growing in this apart from you? Does your child have idols? Do they ever talk about God? These are not questions of biblical truth but questions of knowing and loving God because of the gospel.
(2). The Child In Relationship To Himself
How well does your child know himself? Does he know his strengths and weaknesses? Is he conscious of his sins or his spiritual gifts? Your children need to know themselves and appreciate how God has made them for His service. Is your child shy or confident? Are there phobias? Can she work independently or does she need others to stay on task?
(3). The Child In Relationship To Others
How do they interact with others? What does she bring out in others? Does he need the approval and attention of others? How do they respond when sinned against?
Periodic Review
Once or twice a year take inventory of your child. List the things you are pleased with. List your concerns. Develop a strategy for dealing with the concerns. Continue to develop the areas that are good.
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