Rethinking Unbiblical Goals
The goals in the previous chapter are not ultimate goals in and of themselves.
1. Developing Social Skills
Are we putting kids in arts and sports to enhance their self-worth when Scripture teaches no such concept? Are we unknowingly encouraging pride based on the capacity to performance? Are we inadvertently teaching our kids to trust themselves? Many families have plenty of time for sports and leisure but lack time for Bible reading and corporate worship. What are we teaching our kids when these other activities come before the Lord's Day?
Biblically, we are to teach our kids to be good stewards of their bodies. Abilities and talents are to be developed because that is what good stewards do with the gifts that God gives. Sports can enhance family unity versus family fracturing which sends everyone their own direction in their own sport.
Being physically fit can help you serve in God's kingdom.
2. Psychological Adjustment
What about our children's response to bullies? Is our first instinct to lead them towards self-defense? Or is our first instinct to lead them to pray to God for help and wisdom? Do we teach them to pray for their enemies and to overcome evil with God? Or is self-defense and running from the problem our solutions? Are they going to be taught to be peacemakers or will be teach them that they should end the provocation with their martial arts so long as they didn't start the fight? Does not Scripture say that a soft answer turns away wrath? That is not to say that defense isn't necessary at times, but is that the first response and only response, or have we taught them to be on the offense when it comes to biblical behavior.
3. Saved Children
Rather than trying to force our children to be saved, we must remember that our job is to nurture their hearts and to parent biblically. It's the Holy Spirit's job to quicken the heart and make them alive so that they can repent and put faith in Christ to reconcile them to God. Are we teaching them about the human condition of sin, not just sinful acts, but our sinful nature? Do they know God and His wrath, justice, grace, mercy and patient love? They need to trust God for salvation AND daily living.
In our parenting, are we consistently reminding them of their need to repent and trust Christ to save them. Repentance is daily; both in actions and heart. Faith is daily; both for salvation and daily living.
4. Family Worship
Family worship is a means, not an end. It is supposed to end in us knowing and loving God. At times we must be creative and flexible to accomplish this.
5. Well-Behaved Children
Manners are a biblical way of loving others; being polite, allowing others to go first, saying please and thank you, etc. Is it not a end in itself. Are we teaching manners in a biblical way?
6. Good Education
Is the American Dream a biblical objective achieved through great education? What Scripture would you use to support such a goal for one's life? Do we bribe our kids to get good grades? Is this biblical?
Should we not care about their grades or education? Is this other end of the spectrum biblical? Not at all. What is biblical is teaching our kids that they are to develop their minds, gifts and abilities for God. Knowing God comes from general revelation which means studying the universe and how it's made (biology, math, chemistry, astronomy). Knowing things like history and economics serves other functions like seeing God's common grace in history or seeing man's sinfulness. Knowing economics helps us to learn how to function financially for the benefit of the kingdom and others, not just our own families.
Your overall objective in parenting should be to teach your children to live for the glory of God.
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