BIG IDEA: Parents must not just address the sinful actions of a child. They must address the heart.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.
Sin issues are heart issues. When a child sins there is a problem with their heart's affections. They have failed to believe and trust God in some way. They must be shown their sin as it relates to God so that they can see their need for the Savior, Jesus Christ.
To address outward behavior only will yield Pharisees--people who honor God with their lips but have hearts far from him. In my estimation, correcting behavior issues without correcting heart issues is one reason a lot of young adults abandon the faith when they leave home. Their hearts were never addressed. The behavior was primary and their heart was not. Outward conformity to a set of rules was primary and nurturing a heart for God was not at the forefront of parenting. There are other reasons why young adults leave the church, but I believe this is one of them. This is where you hear the world decrying that strict religious upbringings confine people and when they get a taste of freedom, the person goes wild. That's a heart issue at it's core--a heart that has not yet developed a love for God and His glory.
Scripture makes it clear that sin issues are first and foremost heart issues.
Mark 7:21-22 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.
Luke 6:45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Whether it be sinful speech, sinful emotional outbursts, fighting with siblings, selfishness, or disobedience to parental guidelines we must not write these issues off as issues that they will grow out of. Neither should we address them with the sort of parenting that only corrects behavior. The heart must be addressed. Sin must be exposed in light of God's holiness and the saving grace of Jesus and God's love must enter the picture in conversation and proper shepherding.
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