BIG IDEA: The fear of the Lord is what makes someone wise and thus determines their Godward orientation and how they respond to correction.
Godward Orientation
Children are not neutral. They worship God or something else. Romans 1:18-19 makes it clear that all people have some sort of Godward orientation: one that responds to Him by faith and thus they serve Him, or they have a Godward orientation that suppresses the truth in unrighteousness and thus they serve creation rather than the Creator.
Choosing Between Two Ways
You either bow before the Creator and lovingly serve Him or you serve and love the idols of your heart. This is not always a conscious decision, but a child is never neutral. Psalm 58:3 says that from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. See also Psalm 51:5. We do not become sinners when we sin. We are born sinners and prove it by our corrupt deeds. Godly spanking is justified in light of our sin (Proverbs 22:15).
The Heart Is Not Neutral
Children have idols of the heart just like adults. Idols of the heart are fear of men, evil desires, lusts, pride, conformity to the world, worldly mindsets, etc. Their motives, desires, wants, goals and hopes all reveal their heart and the degree of their Godward orientation. They do respond to life circumstances and thus they are not neutral.
Whom Will The Child Worship?
Parents aren't just providing good shaping influences. The unseen dimension is that children are interacting with God in the midst of their environment and shaping influences. Children are either choosing to interact with God rightly or they are choosing to reject His rule and choosing a life without Him.
Implications For Childrearing
Most parenting books are about the parent creating good shaping influences in the hopes that the children will turn out okay. We want to learn how to also shepherd their hearts. Life gushes from the heart (Proverbs 4:23). We should want good shaping influences plus godly structure, stability, security, quality relationships that reflect God's grace/mercy for sinners, appropriate punishments to help reflect God's view of sin, scriptural values lived out, lack of chaos, etc. These things are crucial but still the child is not the product of these things alone. The child interacts with these influences and either moves towards God or away from God. Sinful actions are not matters of immaturity to be grown out of. Sinful actions are reflections of idols of the heart.
The Importance Of Godward Orientation
Joseph was an example of how shaping influences don't ultimately determine your outcome. If that was the case then all the evil that happened to Him would have surely rendered Him a rebel, but that didn't happen. Joseph responded to God properly in those awful situations and Joseph remained faithful and loving to God (Genesis 50:19-21).
You must create a home of godly shaping influences. AND you must shepherd their hearts towards God through discipline, through expressions of grace and mercy and forgiveness, helping them to interact with God through their life situations. You must pray that God will move in their hearts.
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