Friday, August 26, 2022

BOOK SUMMARY: SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART - CHAPTER 5 - EXAMINGING YOUR GOALS


 
BIG IDEA: We may have well-intentioned goals that are actually unbiblical.

Unbiblical Goals
Every parents wants their children to do well and be successful but the definitions of those terms differ from person to person. Christians should strive to raise children biblically so that they are successful in the things of the Lord. This especially includes believe the gospel and submitting to Jesus as Lord.

1.    Developing Special Skills
Skills and activities like sports and arts are not evil but success in rearing children is not defined by how many activities our kids are in. We must also remember that coaches and teachers have values when they lead these activities.  Will any of these activities have biblical content? Will they receive biblical instruction (loyalty, integrity, friendship, perseverance, respect for authority) from you in these activities? What does success look like in these areas, from a biblical standpoint.

2.    Psychological Adjustment
Will you listen to the world's pop-psychology? Are these psychological goals the same as biblical goals? What Scriptures direct your goals for their psychological development?

3.    Saved Children
Many parents strive to force a conversion; praying the sinners prayer, asking Jesus into their hearts, etc.  Some parents think that if their kids get saved then all their problems will go away. Consider the fact that we can never know with absolute certainty that our kids are saved (Matthew 7:21-23). Consider that a child's genuine salvation doesn't change the call to parent as God commands us.  We must still train them in the Lord.

4.    Family Worship
Just because a family prays together does not mean that the family will stay together. There must be a connection between family values and the family worship routine.  Is it a militant task, one that is so routine, that it's merely a checklist of various activities to be done for the day?

5.    Well Behaved Children
Teaching social etiquettes is not the end-all to parenting. While these skills are necessary in any culture, it is secondary to biblical training. Many of us know well-behaved children who do not believe the gospel and are bitter towards their parents and God's people.  Being well-mannered can not be divorced from biblical servanthood.

6.    Good Education
Academic awards and scholarly recognition are not the same a biblical training. Knowing sciences and arts are part of knowing God who created the heavens and the earth, through which His glory is revealed. To have good go to school to merely learn subjects falls short of the biblical mandate of parenting. You can be well-educated and not understand the One who is Life.


The Biblical Warning Against Cultural Influence
God did not want Israel to be affected by the Canaanites. So, too, God does not want us being affected by the world.  We must reject many things our cultures throws at us. 

There is a difference between being aware of ungodly objectives and principles. It's other thing to embrace scriptural objectives and principles. 

What is the chief end of man? Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. Or as John Piper puts it, "Man's chief end is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.

We must teach them to use their knowledge and abilities to glorify God. They were made by God for God. "Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you."

We need to make sure we don't send our kids mixed signals by doing things the world's way sometimes and doing things God's way other times. That is training them in unbiblical ways.
If we teach kids to do things to please us and for our approval, we present an unbiblical objective. We are to teach them to do all things for God's glory.  Another example: some parents teach their kids to ignore bullies; some teach to fight back. Neither is biblical. We are to do good to those who are evil to us and to pray for our enemies. We are not to fight back. So sometimes, well-meaning advice is actually contrary to the way we are to raise our kids.











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