Summary: Chapter 1 - We must have an accurate biblical theology. Chapter 2 - We must believe that each of us is the worst of sinners. Chapter 3 - We'll look at the nature of sin and how we tend to respond to it.
When we are sinned against, we are typically tempted to get angry with our spouse. But our goal should be to defeat sin, not to let it break out. If fighting ensues, then we are called to be peacemakers. The benefit of the new birth is that we can have victory over sin as we are informed by God's Word and empowered by His Spirit. Our marriages can be redeemed and they can grow in sweetness.
FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM IN THE CLASH OF DESIRES
In Galatians 5:1 we learn that those who are free in Christ are free from trying to be justified by obedience to the OT Law. We are not to remain under the tyranny of the law but neither should we use our freedom in Christ to embrace sin (Galatians 5:13). The conflicts we have in our marriages are a clash of desires between the flesh and the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). The flesh is a phrase we synonymously with remaining sin, the sin nature, the old man, indwelling sin. And the flesh keeps us from doing the things we want to do. Although Christ paid the price for our sin, sin still remains. We have been saved from sin's penalty (justification) and still need to be saved from the desire to sin (sanctification). We cannot wrongly blame our sin on the behavior of our spouse. We cannot rightly say, "we have marriage problems." We should say, "I have a sin problem."
SO HOW DID THIS FIGHT GET STARTED?
Without exception, we are the problem. Jesus made it clear. What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart and this defiles a person (Matthew 15:18-20a). James explains that it's our passions at war within us that cause us to quarrel (James 4:1-3). When asked, "What is wrong with the world?" G.K. Chesteron replied, "I am."
THE FOG OF WAR
The war against sin can feel chaotic and confusing (Romans 7:22-23). Sometimes sin within is surprising. That is expressed in words like, "I can't believe I did that" or "Where did that come from?" Any sin can pop us at any time and any sin can become enslaving. The law of sin keeps us from admitting our faults, from fulfilling our responsibilities, from spending time with God, from investing in each other and so much more. We are often good at seeing the law of sin in our spouse but not in ourselves.
THE BETRAYAL OF SIN
- Sin is crafty - We depend on God for our needs, but sin flips that around and makes God accountable to us for our wants. Although we are blessed by God, sin says that we are victimized by God.
- Sin is alluring - "Don't be silly, Eve. You're not going to die. You'll become like him." Eve went from being accountable to a loving God to being a victim of an insecure God who was pathetically threatened by her autonomy.
- Sin is treacherous - Thomas Watson wrote, "Sin first courts, and then kills. Whoever sin kills, it betrays." See James 1:15
DANCING ON THE FIELD OF VICTORY
We do not have to be disheartened when sin shows us. Romans 8:1-4 teaches us that we are not condemned in Christ. Jesus took in His flesh (body) the penalty we deserve for walking in the flesh (sin nature). God does not view us in relations to our sin but in relation to Christ. He did for us what the law of God requires and we get the credit for that by faith. Then His Spirit helps us to walk accordingly.
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