BOOK SUMMARY: GOD AND THE TRANSGENDER DEBATE - CHAPTER 11 - SPEAKING TO CHILDREN

How do we talk to our children about transgenderism and gender dysphoria?

MOM AND DAD, CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME?

It is not a matter of if this comes up. It's a matter of when. What will you say? Will you mock or act in disbelief? Will you panic or sit down and have a challenging discussion? We might be tempted to shield our kids from these topics but this is not wise.  So what do we say to a ten-year-old? Here are some pointers:

(1).    People see reality in different ways. Our views are based on what God says in the Scripture. He made us and tells us how the world really is.

(2).    God made men and women equally valuable but different.  These differences are good and enables us to reproduce.  We wouldn't be alive today if there was no sexual difference. 

(3).    There are cultural stereotypes. Not every man likes hunting or watching sports. Not every girl likes to wear princess dresses.  Some men enjoy cooking and some don't. The same is true for women. 

(4).    God made the world good but it is messed up right now because of our sin.  Nothing works in this world exactly the way God made it to. This includes our bodies and our minds. 

(5).    Not every shares this biblical view of the world. Some people reject what God says to do and what God says to think. So

(6).    Some people feel they were born with a different gender than their birth sex. They feel uncomfortable or strange in their body. This upsets them. We should never be mean to these people.  They are made by God in His image. But we can't forget that God made them to be a man or a woman and so how they feel about themselves is not what God wants for them. 

(7).    In a fallen world every human deals with sinful thoughts and behaviors that are hard for them to walk away from. We also deal with bodies and minds that don't always work correctly. Every Christians has to say "NO" to what we want because Jesus is our King.  Christians have to trust what God says about us and try to live according to what God says about us. Being a Christian also means we are to love others--even when we disagree with them.

If we don't have answers to our child's questions, it's ok to say, "I don't know. But let me study the Scriptures more to see what God says."  Keep the conversation going. Don't duck hard conversations or questions.

MOM AND DAD, CAN YOU HELP ME?

How will you respond if your child says that they experience gender dysphoria?  Those first few moments of this conversation are crucial to their life and yours.  Will you scowl at them or will they hear, "I love you and always will"?

Invite them to discuss how they are feeling and thinking.  Don't interrupt. Listen. Listen. Listen.  Remember their age.  Don't read too much into a four-year-olds experience. They are learning how this world works.  

A pre-pubescent eight-year-old may grow out of such feelings. This is why it's troubling to give a young child hormone blockers.  Puberty almost always helps a child feel more at home with their biological sex. 

Conversations with teenagers will be very different. It's important to gently express that how they feel is not who they are. This is contrary to Western thought and cultural wisdom. If they are a believer, then pray with them and ask the Lord to help them work through their feelings and thoughts.  Pray with them and ask the Lord to help them think and live like He wants. 

Talk to your local church elders/pastors and let them know what's happening in the life of your family.  Do not fear rejection or embarrassment.  (As an elder at Sovereign Way Christian Church, I can tell you that your family will be loved and cared for.)

Assess the emotional and psychological needs of your child.  Find a loving Christian biblical counselor that is faithful to Scripture and not willing to bend to cultural ideologies in these areas. 

A LOST CHILD IS A PRODIGAL SON

If your child struggles with gender dysphoria, do not cut them off! This is wrong. They will always be your child even if they reject Christ and His Word. Your call to be a parent is not conditional upon their obedience to God. That doesn't mean we have to agree with them, but it does mean that we don't abandon our kids. Parents that turn their backs on their kids for these reasons must repent. Their sin doesn't justify yours.  We were once prodigals that came running home to God and God received us. We must emulate our heavenly Father's heart and be looking for our kids to return to the Lord. We must not be like the self-righteous elder son who despised the fact that his father showed welcoming grace to the younger son.  The self-righteous son points towards the Pharisees sin of entitlement, self-righteousness, lack of grace, and lack of love for what God loves. 

HYMNOLOGY #8 - FACE TO FACE

In this series we will examine the hymns that we sing at our church. Along with a biographical sketch of the hymn writer, we'll also look at theology of the song.  Lastly, we'll look at the structure and musical features of some of the hymns as we listen to a variety of styles of each song. The class ends with the singing of the hymn we looked at. 

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FACE TO FACE

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BOOK SUMMARY: GOD AND THE TRANSGENDER DEBATE - CHAPTER 10 - CHALLENGING THE CHURCH

The church should be the safest place to talk about the struggle with gender dysphoria.  The church is where truth and love in action should be found. 

In Mark 10:28-30 we see that those who are willing to forsake in favor of following Christ will be blessed.  Peter said, "WE have left everything."  We are in fellowship together as we follow Christ. Those who have left everything to follow Jesus have a community to live in and to be loved on. Will we love those with this struggle?

COMPASSIONATE COMMUNITIES

We are not to show partiality when people come in to our assembly (James 2:1-5).  Whether a person identifies as transgender or struggles with gender dysphoria as is not actively identifying as transgender, our message should be the same: "You are loved here."  Jesus didn't come to save the righteous, but the lost. We cannot create a list of tolerable sins and intolerable ones. We need compassion for all sinners. 

LISTENING COMMUNITIES
James 1:9 reminds us to be quick to hear and slow to speak/anger.  We often fail to listen to those who are struggling with sin. We'd rather share everything we know than listen to those who are really hurting.  Do we try to understand what they are going through? Are we trying to win arguments or win people?  We must listen and not form stereotypes.  

"The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists of listening to them.  Just as love of God begins with listening to his word, so the beginning of love for our brothers and sisters is learning to listen to them."  Dietrich Bonhoeffer

If we don't understand these issues and don't know what it's like to struggle with these things, we must listen first.  Humility furthers the relationship and communication.

Ephesians 4:1  ...walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called

Ephesians 4:2-3   ...with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

A brother or sister who struggles with gender dysphoria ought to be treated this way. In a fallen world, life is complex. This doesn't mean that we don't speak truth or change our convictions. But it does mean we need to listen.

CONVICTIONAL COMMUNITIES

We need to have conviction in our cause. 

John 8:31-32 If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

We MUST be committed to biblical truth, not because it feels good to be right, but because it frees us from sin so we can be what God has created us to be.  Let's be careful not to pummel people with truth as if all that matters is scoring more points in a conversation.  We must show concern in our truth sharing.  Neither love nor truth is an optional bolt-on to our Christianity.

STEADFAST COMMUNITIES

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 reminds us that Paul shared the gospel of God and his life...because they had become dear to him.

If someone struggles with gender dysphoria and chooses to follow Christ, life will be hard for them.  They will need our love and support and encouragement to stay steadfast in Christ. We must not be abstract in our love, but concrete!  No lip service! We must pursue biblical community.  Let us not be only gospel-sharing communities, but self-sharing communities.

GRACIOUS COMMUNITIES

Paul's letter open and close with grace.  People need grace.  People need forgiveness.  Grace reminds us that we all fall short of God's glory. Grace reminds us that we are still loved in spite of our sin struggles.  Grace reminds us that no one is outside the reach of God.  

See Ephesians 2:8-9.

The grace that first saved us is the grace that makes us more like Jesus.  Let this grace shape our minds so that we are a welcoming people. 

HYMNOLOGY #7 - CORNERSTONE

In this series we will examine the hymns that we sing at our church. Along with a biographical sketch of the hymn writer, we'll also look at theology of the song.  Lastly, we'll look at the structure and musical features of some of the hymns as we listen to a variety of styles of each song. The class ends with the singing of the hymn we looked at. 

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CORNERSTONE

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BOOK SUMMARY: REDEEMING MEMORY - CHAPTER 9 - MAN'S CORRUPTION OF FUTURE REMEMBRANCE

Future remembrance refers to how a person is remembered after death.  Just as fallen memory distorts a person's thinking and bends toward self and away from God, so too, our memories work in a way in which it desires to selfishly work in a way that others will remember us long after we are gone.  In other words, we can try to sinfully achieve immorality through the memories of others. 

EVIDENCE OF DISTORTED FUTURE REMEMBRANCE IN CULTURE

Who's Who books demonstrate the world's obsession with future remembrance. The interest in the book is not to read them but to be included in them. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is another example of the human desire to be memorialized.  

EVIDENCE OF DISTORTED FUTURE REMEMBRANCE IN SELF

We may not be in a "hall of fame" or in a Who's Who book, but there are other ways in which we can become an idol unto ourselves in trying to make sure we "live on" in the minds of others.

(1).    Photography - Studies show that media diminishes the precision of memory by distracting you from the details of the sounds and sights.  Ironically, in trying to preserve the moment with media, memory for the moment declines. Photos have their place in rekindling joyous moments, but they ought not to be elevated to a place where they are idols.

(2).    Childbearing - In obedience to the command to be fruitful and multiply for God's glory, we can be consumed with perpetuating the family name. It's our glory we are consumed with. Absalom had no son to preserve his name so he set up a pillar after his own name (2 Samuel 18:18).  He feared he'd be forgotten.  He was so sinful that when he died he was not buried at his monument but was cast into a pit in a forest where a heap of stones were hurled upon him.  His name was remembered, but in disgrace.

(3).    Honor - If we are honored after our death, it should be for God's glory, not our own. 

DEATH AND DISTORTED FUTURE REMEMBRANCE

Future remembrance relies on faulty memories of others. 

(1).    Death Is Unmistakable - Everyone knows death.  

(2).    Death Is Universal - Unless Christ comes again first, we shall all die physically.

(3).    Death Is Irreversible - Medicine gives the illusion that all is well, but we all still die. 

(4).    Death Is Uncontrollable - Even those who eat healthy and exercise die. We do choose our day of death (Ecclesiastes 8:8)

(5).    Death Is Unexpected - Each day could be our last (Psalm 90:10).

(6).    Death Is Unsettling - Death leaves us longing for more time with the other person. 

UNDERLYING FEARS OF DISTORTED FUTURE REMEMBRANCE

(1).    Fear of Fiction - Our imperfect memories are susceptible to fiction and forgetting the ones who have died.  We can be selective in what we remember for better or worse. We may defame others after they are dead and they cannot defend themselves. 

(2).    Fear of Dishonor - What if others accurately remember the sinful things I really did do?  Judas is an example. 

(3).    Fear of Futility - What if others forget the godly things I did?  See Ecclesiastes 2:14-15.  

(4).    Fear of Insignificance - What if others forget ME? 

EFFECTS OF DISTORTED FUTURE REMEMBRANCE

The fear of being forgotten might manifest itself in acts hyperactive acts of heroism, hedonism or hoarding. Or it could manifest itself in inactivity like anxiety or apathy.

(1).    Hyperactive Effects Of Distorted Future Remembrance 

(a).    Heroism - We may try to do great things so that we have a biography written about us or to earn the praise of men.  This is trying to bring glory to self and not God.

(b).    Hedonism -   If we fear not being remembered in the future we may resort to trying to gain as much pleasure as possible.  This is futile according to Solomon (Ecclesiastes 2:1). 

(c).    Hoarding - If riches are not lost in life, then they are lost in death.  Vain riches may quickly vanish even through spending, bad investing or stealing (Ecclesiastes 5:14). 

(2).    Inactive Effects Of Distorted Future Remembrance 

(a).    Anxiety - The mind loves to dwell on "what ifs".  The fear of being forgotten/insignificance leads to anxiety. The mind, heart and lungs race while the rest of the body is motionless. 

(b).    Apathy -  We are sometimes anxious about small things but apathetic towards big things (death).  We may think that death is for others, but not for me.  We assume if we do not think of death then death will not think of us.  Today's funerals have been replaced with "celebrations of life" but contemplating death is a good thing for we shall all face God.  

SERMON: JOEL 2:28-29, HUMANITY'S VISITATION - THE TORRENT OF JUDAH - PART 1

 

Sermon: Humanity's Visitation - The Torrent Of Judah, Part 1

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Text: Joel 2:28-29

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Series: Joel

BOOK SUMMARY: THE PEACEMAKER - PART 2 - GET THE LOG OUT OF YOUR EYE - CHAPTER 6 - CONFESSION BRINGS FREEDOM

Proverbs 28:13  He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

The driving force behind our reconciliation should be that God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ.  Two things happen when we meditate on the gospel. (1).  Our pride and defensiveness are stripped away.  (2).  We are inspired to seek reconciliation with others

REPENTANCE IS MORE THAN A FEELING

Repentance is a gift from God  (2 Timothy 2:24-26). It means to change the way we think or to come to our senses (Luke 15:17). It means we realize we've done and think wrong and are going to do what God says to do and think like God says to think (Isaiah 55:7).  Worldly sorrow and godly sorrow are different (2 Corinthians 7:9-10).  One is sad due to consequences while the other is sad due to offending God. God sorrow isn't always accompanied with intense feelings which means at times that others may not appear to be repentant to you. Repentance is proved by turning to God and changing sinful attitudes, thoughts and deeds (Acts 26:20). 

EXAMINE YOURSELF

A willingness to examine one's life to make necessary corrections is evidence of repentance. Sin is hatred of God and His desires/commands (Psalm 51:3-4, James 2:10-11, James 4:17). We often rationalize our sin, blame shift when caught in sin or minimize it by calling it a mistake. We must ask God to help us see our sin clearly as we study God's Word to know His ways (Psalm 139:23-24, Hebrews 4:12). We must be open to the correction of our spiritually mature friends (Proverbs 12:15, 19:20).  We must examine ourselves in a variety of ways to see if we are at fault in our conflicts. The follow six can help us get started.

(1).    Using Your Tongue As a Weapon - See James 3:5-6.  Proverbs 12:18 says that reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Philippians 2:14 tells us to do all things without complaining.  Proverbs 24:28 reminds us that we are not to deceive with our lips. Gossiping separates close friends (Proverbs 16:28). Slander involves speaking false or malicious words about another person (Titus 2:3, 2 Timothy 3:3-5) A slanderer is a diabolos or an accuser which is a title given to Satan.  Worthless talk is forbidden in Scripture as well (Ephesians 4:29, Matthew 12:36). 

(2).    Controlling Others - This often involves manipulations, persuasion and force. We are to live according to 2 Timothy 2:24-26.

(3).    Breaking Your Word - Matthew 5:33-37 reminds us to keep our word. If we are unable to keep our word then we must appeal to the other person for mercy (Matthew 18:22-33). If we cannot be biblical released from keeping our word then we must ask God to help us keep our word.

(4).    Failing To Respect Authority - God has set authority in the government, the workplace, the family and the church. The purpose of God-ordained authority is to maintain peace and order (Romans 13:1-7). Those in authority must not abuse their role (Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 5:1-3). Those under authority must respect their role (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, 1 Timothy 6:1-2, Titus 2:9-10, Hebrews 13:17).  Apart from requests to sin, we must obey our leaders even when they aren't ideal leaders (Acts 4:18-19, Matthew 23:1-3).  

(5).    Forgetting The Golden Rule - This rule sums up the law and prophets!  The entire OT can be summed up as "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." 

(6).    Serving Sinful Desires - This sinful desires can lead to conflict and we must examine them to see if they are in us.

(a).  Improper desires for physical pleasure (1 John 2:15-17).  

(b). Pride and desire to always be right (Proverbs 8:13). 

(c). Love of money or material possessions (Matthew 6:24). 

(d). Fear of man (Proverbs 29:25). 

(e). Good things that we want too much.  

 THE SEVEN A'S OF CONFESSIONS

(1).    Address Everyone Involved - God and others. Heart sins are confessed to God while social sins are confessed to others. Zacchaeus's example is good to follow (Luke 19:8)

(2).    Avoid The Words IF, BUT and MAYBE - "I'm sorry IF I've done something wrong."  "I'm sorry, BUT, if you hadn't done that to me first then I wouldn't have done that to you."  "Maybe I could try harder."  These words neutralize our confession and apology. 

(3).    Admit Specifically - The more detailed and specific you are when making a confession, the more likely you are to receive a positive response. It is often wise to admit what you did to violate God's will (Luke 15:21).  

(4).    Acknowledge The Hurt - "You must've been terribly/hurt/offended when I did/said what I did." Sympathy and empathy show you understand how your actions have real consequences. 

(5).    Accept The Consequences - The prodigal son offers a good example of what this looks like (Luke 15:19).  See Luke 19:8 for Zacchaeus's exampled.  

(6).    Alter Your Behavior - A written plans shows that you have thought out your goals to act differently in ways that will not create future conflict. 

(7).    Ask For Forgiveness and Allow Time - "Will you please forgive me?"  Sometimes people are quick to forgive. Sometimes they need a little time to work through this.  Further steps detailed later in the book for when forgiveness is not granted. 

Not every confession or attempt to reconcile will require all seven steps.  Minor offenses are often resolved more quickly than deeper offenses. Don't turn this process into a list of things to check-off or make it into some meaningless ritual. Remember that we are trying to be reconciled to others, not check off the "to do" list.  

YOU CAN CHANGE

(1).    God Is Eager To Help Us Grow And Change - Romans 8:28-29, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Ephesians 4:22-32).  

(2).    Pray - Colossians 1:9-12.  Pray that you'd be filled with the knowledge of His will so that you can live in a manner worthy of the Lord.

(3).    Delight Yourself In The Lord - Psalm 37:4.

(4).    Study - Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 4:22-24

(5).    Practice - Begin to do what God's Word says (Philippians 4:9).

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

(1).    How does reflection on the gospel help us to seek reconciliation with others?

(2).    How would you explain repentance in your own words?

(3).    We were asked to consider 6 ways in which we might create conflict. Which one of the six do you need to work on the most?

(4).    Which of the seven A's of confession do you need to work on the most?

BOOK SUMMARY: GOD AND THE TRANSGENDER DEBATE - CHAPTER 9 - NO EASY PATHS

What does it look like for someone to struggle with gender-dysphoria while trying to follow Christ?  What about the person who has undergone gender-transition?  We all know what it feels like to struggle with what we think is right and what Jesus says is right.  Sometimes Christ commands us to do the opposite of what we feel or think.

A LIFE THAT IS HARDER (BUT NOT FOREVER)

In Matthew 16:24-25 we are told that to be a follower of Christ means that we have to deny ourselves and take up our cross.  The cross to remind us of death, scorn and rejection.  Are you shouldering your cross for Christ or is your life completely comfortable and full of compromise?  Jesus' call to follow Him does not mean gender-dysphoria will go away. Instead, it is a call to follow Him nonetheless. But our willingness to lose our life means that we will gain life. In eternity we will bear no cross.  

A LIFE THAT IS BETTER (NOW AS WELL AS FOREVER) 

Luke 18:29-30 is a wonderful reminder that those who forsake all to follow Christ will be rewarded many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.  Jesus is telling us that we will not regret following Him.  Paul struggle and pleaded with Christ to take away a particular issue he was dealing with and the Lord reminded him that His grace was sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).  In our weaknesses the strength of the Lord is manifested through us.  Suffering produces an intimacy with God that we would not know without it. The struggle with/against gender-dysphoria may be a cross that some have to carry in order to follow Christ. 

OK, BUT WHAT WILL IT LOOK LIKE?

Questions to consider:

Should those that underwent gender-reassignment stop taking hormones?

Should a reverse surgery be undertaken?

Does repentance mean forsaking community and relationships?

Must one no longer have feelings of gender-dysphoria?

BLACK AND WHITE AND GRAY

Solutions are not simple even though there are answers.  Those with gender-dysphoria will have to deny their feelings and preferences in order to follow Christ.  Jesus' word must be followed as true.  Only in trusting and following Christ is blessing and life found. Those with gender-dysphoria expressing a desire to repent must be encouraged to see themselves as God made them.  This is not an easy path to walk on and support will be needed.  This person will need Christians to patiently bear with them and their stumbling along the way.  For some, these godward changes will be instant and for others it'll take some time as progress is made.  The goal is to see themselves as a new creation in God moving towards thinking and acting like God wants them to. Surgery to restore them as closely as possible to their original physiology may or may not be possible. 

IT IS MEANINGFUL

You were made by God for God. One day your cross-carrying will end and you will be with God. It will be worth it. 

HYMNOLOGY #6: CROWN HIM WITH MANY CROWNS

In this series we will examine the hymns that we sing at our church. Along with a biographical sketch of the hymn writer, we'll also look at theology of the song.  Lastly, we'll look at the structure and musical features of some of the hymns as we listen to a variety of styles of each song. The class ends with the singing of the hymn we looked at. 

LISTEN HERE ON SERMONAUDIO.COM

Crown Him With Many Crowns

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