Whilst driving to work today I encountered a jaywalker. I see them every day on the way to work precisely at 8:28 a.m. You see, the dealership at which I work is located just a block away from the courthouse.
Ahhh, the courthouse. You may not know it but the finest citizens in the high desert tend to accumulate there every morning to spend time with their comrades and their mentors in black robes. Yes, these law-abiding aficionados can be seen scurrying off to their appointments with eager anticipation. I imagine that is the same kind of anticipation you feel when you arrive to Disneyland except there is no tram or husky Spanish voice telling you to “remain seated please.” But every thing else is the same but not.
Well, today I encountered a very polite and courteous jaywalker. He was well dressed in a gray suit and brown shoes. I imagine he may have had a thing for an unnamed female judge so he was dressed to the nines in order to either impress her or to mitigate her wrath. In either case his attire was on fleek! Inwardly I wished him well on his justice-is-blind-date and pronounced the A-Aronic Blessing upon him from Numbers 6:24-26.
Now normally I have to slow down or make a complete stop in the middle of the road to let the jaywalkers cross safely like a train of ducklings. This usually makes me thirty seconds late to work, but “uh uh, not todayyy!” This guy actually had the courtesy to try and expedite his law-breaking stroll through Victimville. He began to swing his arms higher and harder than his previous causal walk. In his mind he was moving faster than a speeding bullet in order to not hold me back and make me late for work. But the brisk wind that had just kicked up only made it look like he had a speeding mullet. I’m not sure what the official Olympic name is for this sort of sport walking but if it doesn’t have a name, it needs one. With elbows tucked in nice and firm...head tilted slightly forward and down...rapid arm movements...all while keeping the leg speed at the same casual walking pace he first started with, he earned my love and affection. I don’t know that anyone will show me such concern today, but this guy made me feel appreciated and valued.
I can tell you that he didn’t move any faster getting across the street but he was definitely more tired after that display of physical prowess. I hope he didn’t get all sweaty for nothing because I was still “late” to work and that’s not a way to impress the lady judge he got all dressed up for.
Good luck Flash! May A-Aron’s blessing be upon you.
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