BOOK SUMMARY: THE PEACEMAKER - PART 4 - GO AND BE RECONCILED - CHAPTER 11 - LOOK ALSO TO THE INTERESTS OF OTHERS

Philippians 2:4  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

COOPERATIVE VERSUS COMPETITIVE NEGOTIATION

(1). A competitive approach often fails to produce the best possible solution to a problem. When people work against each other, they tend to focus on surface issues and neglect underlying desires and needs. (2). Competitive negotiation can be inefficient. Progress is made in successive compromises and concessions. (3). Competitive negotiation can significantly damage personal relationships. This approach can be very self-centered and offensive.

Cooperative negotiation deliberately seeks solutions that are beneficial to everyone. This style of negotiation tends to preserve or even improve relationships.  We are to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). See also 1 Corinthians 13:5; Matthew 7:12; 1 Corinthians 10:24). A wise person does not give in to others unless there is a valid reason to do so.  A wise person works towards solutions that honor God and provide lasting benefits to as many people as possible. Cooperative negotiation may be described as a combination of love and wisdom.

Prepare – See Proverbs 14:8 & 22.  Pray. Get the facts. Identify issues and interests. Study the bible. Develop options. Anticipate reactions. Plan an alternative to a negotiated agreement. Select an appropriate time and place to talk. Plan your opening remarks. Seek counsel.  

Affirm Relationships – Too often we ignore the feelings and concerns of others and focus all our attention on the problems that separate us. Affirm your respect and concerns for the other person. Communicate in a courteous manner. Spend time on personal issues. Submit to authority. Earnestly seek to understand. Look out for the interests of others. Address sin in a gracious manner. Allow face-saving. Give praise and thanks.

Understand Interests – An issue is an identifiable and concrete question that must be addressed in order to reach an agreement. A position is a desire outcome or a definable perspective on an issue. An interest is what motivates people.  When people focus in interests rather than positions, it is usually easier to develop acceptable solutions. Draw attention to similar interests. Once interests are understood you can prioritize the issues that need to be resolved. Place the easiest issues at the beginning of your list. Solving easier issues shows progress and cooperation as harder issues are approached.

Search For Creative Solutions – As you begin to identify possible solutions that seem wise to you, explain how these solutions benefit your opponent.

Evaluate Options Objectively and Reasonably – Use biblical principles. Introduce relevant facts, official rules or regulations or professional reports. Also, listen carefully to your opponents concerns and suggestions, showing respect for his or her values and interests. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Invite specific criticism, alternatives and advice.

An agreement might need to be put in writing.  Write down: (1). what issues were resolved, (2). What actions will be taken, (3). Who is responsible for each action (4). Dates by which each action should be completed (5). When and how the results of the agreement will be reviewed.

SUMMARY AND APPLICATION
Negotiation does not have to be a painful tug-of-war. Remember Philippians 2:4. Remember to PAUSE.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
(1).    When you have conflict how focused are you on the concerns and interests of the other person?
(2).    Which style of negotiation is your default: competitive or cooperative? Why do you think this is the case?
(3).    Do you ever prepare or are your responses to conflict instinctive and reflexive?
(4).    Explain the difference between an issue, position and interest.
(5).    How does using Scripture create objectivity?