We are forgiven and must be forgiving
(Matthew 6:12, Ephesians 4:32).
YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE
We need God’s help to forgive properly. We need to reflect on the gospel and pray for Divine assistance to forgive.
We need God’s help to forgive properly. We need to reflect on the gospel and pray for Divine assistance to forgive.
NEITHER A FEELING, NOR FORGETTING, NOR
EXCUSING
(1). Forgiveness is not a feeling but an act of the will and a series of decisions. We must ask for His help and then decide not to think or talk about what someone has done to hurt us. (2). Forgiveness is an active, not passive, process. When God’s decision to not remember our sins is not that He “can’t” but that He “won’t.” He chooses not to bring them up again, ever. (3). Forgiveness is not excusing sin. Forgiveness requires an acknowledging that y sin was committed.
(1). Forgiveness is not a feeling but an act of the will and a series of decisions. We must ask for His help and then decide not to think or talk about what someone has done to hurt us. (2). Forgiveness is an active, not passive, process. When God’s decision to not remember our sins is not that He “can’t” but that He “won’t.” He chooses not to bring them up again, ever. (3). Forgiveness is not excusing sin. Forgiveness requires an acknowledging that y sin was committed.
FORGIVENESS IS A DECISION
Keeping mental records of wrongs destroys relationships. To forgive means to release others from liability to suffer punishment or penalty. Debts are created by sin and someone must pay it. You can make the other person pay or you can pay. You withhold forgiveness by dwelling on the wrong, being cold, giving up on the relationship, inflicting pain or seeking revenge. Sometimes God helps us to forgive all at once, and sometimes we bear the effects of sin over a longer period of time. Go to the cross to see where our sin was forgiven. See Jeremiah 31:34, Psalm 103:12, 1Corinthians 13:5. Four decisions can describe forgiveness: (1). I will not dwell on the incident. (2). I will not bring up the incident again to use it against you. (3). I will not talk to others about this incident. (4). I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Keeping mental records of wrongs destroys relationships. To forgive means to release others from liability to suffer punishment or penalty. Debts are created by sin and someone must pay it. You can make the other person pay or you can pay. You withhold forgiveness by dwelling on the wrong, being cold, giving up on the relationship, inflicting pain or seeking revenge. Sometimes God helps us to forgive all at once, and sometimes we bear the effects of sin over a longer period of time. Go to the cross to see where our sin was forgiven. See Jeremiah 31:34, Psalm 103:12, 1Corinthians 13:5. Four decisions can describe forgiveness: (1). I will not dwell on the incident. (2). I will not bring up the incident again to use it against you. (3). I will not talk to others about this incident. (4). I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Repentance and confession should lead
to forgiveness and reconciliation, even if there are consequences along the
way. Many people have never shown or
been shown this kind of forgiveness.
WHEN SHOULD YOU FORGIVE?
Ideally, repentance should precede forgiveness (Luke 17:3-4). We should always have an attitude of forgiveness and be ready to grant forgiveness. As soon as repentance is shown we should be ready to pursue reconciliation. With God’s help we can show his kind of forgiveness and not dwell on the hurtful incident or seek revenge in thought, word or deed.
Ideally, repentance should precede forgiveness (Luke 17:3-4). We should always have an attitude of forgiveness and be ready to grant forgiveness. As soon as repentance is shown we should be ready to pursue reconciliation. With God’s help we can show his kind of forgiveness and not dwell on the hurtful incident or seek revenge in thought, word or deed.
CAN YOU EVER MENTION THE SIN AGAIN?
You should not bring up a forgiven past sin. Nevertheless, if the sin is recurring, you should deal with new incidents of sin. Fresh situations bring up opportunities for growth in the grace of God.
You should not bring up a forgiven past sin. Nevertheless, if the sin is recurring, you should deal with new incidents of sin. Fresh situations bring up opportunities for growth in the grace of God.
WHAT ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES?
Forgiveness does not necessarily release people from consequences. The Israelites (Numbers14:20-23), Moses (Deuteronomy 32:48-52) and David (2 Samuel 12:11-14) all had consequences to deal with. But forgiveness removes walls and barriers between you and another just as God has done for us.
Forgiveness does not necessarily release people from consequences. The Israelites (Numbers14:20-23), Moses (Deuteronomy 32:48-52) and David (2 Samuel 12:11-14) all had consequences to deal with. But forgiveness removes walls and barriers between you and another just as God has done for us.
OVERCOMING UNFORGIVENESS
God gives help through the Scripture, strength through the Spirit and counsel/encouragement from the church. (1). Confirming repentance can help you to forgive. (2). Renouncing sinful attitudes and expectations will help you to forgive (Luke 17:3-4). (3). Assessing your contributions to the problem can help with forgiveness. (4). Recognizing that God is working for good can help with forgiveness. (5). Remembering God’s forgiveness will help you to forgive (Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 103:8-11). (6). Drawing on God’s strength will help you to forgive.
God gives help through the Scripture, strength through the Spirit and counsel/encouragement from the church. (1). Confirming repentance can help you to forgive. (2). Renouncing sinful attitudes and expectations will help you to forgive (Luke 17:3-4). (3). Assessing your contributions to the problem can help with forgiveness. (4). Recognizing that God is working for good can help with forgiveness. (5). Remembering God’s forgiveness will help you to forgive (Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 103:8-11). (6). Drawing on God’s strength will help you to forgive.
RECONCILIATION AND THE REPLACEMENT
PRINCIPLE
Forgiveness is both an event and a process. We must change our thoughts and attitudes in order to bring change in the relationship (Matthew 5:24; 1 Corinthians 7:11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20). Reconciliation doesn’t mean that the offender is now you closest friend, but it does mean that your relationship is as good as it was before the offense occurred. Reconciliation requires that you give a repentant person an opportunity to demonstrate repentance and regain your trust. Reconciliation is not accidental. If it is not pursued then the relationship will deteriorate. (1). In Thought – memories of the offense will pop up in our minds. We must replace these memories with godly thoughts and actions. See Luke 6:27-28 and Philippians 4:8). (2). In Word (3). In Deed – When you behave as if you love someone, you will presently come to love that person.
Forgiveness is both an event and a process. We must change our thoughts and attitudes in order to bring change in the relationship (Matthew 5:24; 1 Corinthians 7:11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20). Reconciliation doesn’t mean that the offender is now you closest friend, but it does mean that your relationship is as good as it was before the offense occurred. Reconciliation requires that you give a repentant person an opportunity to demonstrate repentance and regain your trust. Reconciliation is not accidental. If it is not pursued then the relationship will deteriorate. (1). In Thought – memories of the offense will pop up in our minds. We must replace these memories with godly thoughts and actions. See Luke 6:27-28 and Philippians 4:8). (2). In Word (3). In Deed – When you behave as if you love someone, you will presently come to love that person.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
(1). Why do you struggle with forgiveness?
(2). Do you ever feel as though others must earn your forgiveness?
(3). Do you ever try to punish those who’ve sinned against you?
(4). Do you require a guarantee that someone will never sin against you again before you’ll grant forgiveness?
(5). How might God be working for good in situations where others sin against you?
(6). How serious are your opponents sins against you when compared with your sins against God?
(7). Which Scriptures can you meditate on in order to let God shape your thinking and attitude?
(8). What thought and deeds need to stop and with what do you need to replace them?
(1). Why do you struggle with forgiveness?
(2). Do you ever feel as though others must earn your forgiveness?
(3). Do you ever try to punish those who’ve sinned against you?
(4). Do you require a guarantee that someone will never sin against you again before you’ll grant forgiveness?
(5). How might God be working for good in situations where others sin against you?
(6). How serious are your opponents sins against you when compared with your sins against God?
(7). Which Scriptures can you meditate on in order to let God shape your thinking and attitude?
(8). What thought and deeds need to stop and with what do you need to replace them?