Monday, October 05, 2020

A LIFE LESSON FROM SPICY DORITOS

You know what sucks...

When you open a new bag of Spicy Doritos and have eaten a couple handfuls and then you see that there is a slit on the other side of the bag from a local grocery store box cutter and you don’t know how long those chips have been open and you begin to wonder if something crawled in and out of the bag and now you wanna throw up. But you keep eating the chips to see just how stale they are because maybe the cut was recent enough to where the chances of something crawling in and out were minimal. But as you’re crunching and munching away you realize there’s a bit more staleness to them than you’re comfortable with but they’re not totally stale so maybe it’s your imagination overworking so you create a scale of staleness in your head and try to figure out where these Spicy Doritos rank. And now you’ve eaten more than you should have but you’re feeling good that you got a decent scale of staleness going on that others could benefit from. But, alas, the staleness of the Spicy Doritos is pretty sketchy and you realize you’re just a fat slob that’ll eat anything.

Moral of the story: have some self-control!