BOOK SUMMARY: DEACONS (HOW THEY SERVE AND STRENGTHEN THE CHURCH) - INTRODUCTION

EVERYONE DEACONS

Diakonos appears 29 times in the NT and means servant or minister (Matthew 23:11-12, Mark 9:35, John 12:26).  Jesus is the ultimate deacon (Mark 10:45). In a technical sense, it is one of two offices in the NT for the local church that require ordination--elders and deacons. 

CONTRASTING CLONES

Deacons should delight in shouldering practical tasks so that the elders can channel their energies into prayer and ministry of the Word. Deacons wrongly deployed can cut your ministry in half, but deacons rightly employed can double your ministry. Deacons are difference makers. 

MANIFESTO AND MANUAL

Chapter 1 - Church history sketch of deacons

Chapter 2 - Forerunners to deacons

Chapter 3 - Qualifications for deacons

Chapter 4 - What deacons must do

Chapter 5 - Stories of faithful deacons

Chapter 6 - Who deacons must reflect

Appendix - Can women serve as deacons?

Deacons are model servants that excel at being responsive to tangible needs in the life of the church.  By assisting they also guard the ministry of the Word. Without biblical functioning deacons a church will become unhealthy. We cannot elevate their role (they are not elders). Neither should minimize it (they are not glorified janitors). 

BOOK SUMMARY: WHEN SINNERS SAY I DO - CHAPTER 5 - MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT

A CURIOUS COMMAND

Jesus delivered a command of mercy to people who were mistreated by Jews and Romans: tax collectors, prostitutes, peasants and fishermen (Luke 6:27-37).

GIVING SHAPE TO MERCY

Mercy is God's undeserved compassion on people who are in a pitiful state. God chose to love us while we were His hell-bound enemies. God gives us mercy in order to pass it on. Do you see your spouse through the eyes of God's mercy? Mercy sweetens marriage.

PASS IT ALONG

Marriage is a place where masks come off (intentionally or not). In seeing our spouse in all sorts of situations we are supposed to become aware of their needs so we can demonstrate God's mercy.

MERCY IN REAL TIME

Mercy transforms our desire to win battles to a desire to represent Christ.  Mercy brings Christ into the "crisis" of money conflicts, dinner plans, disheveled items, untimeliness, unmet expectations and much more. We are not just sinners, but the object of people's sin. 

MERCY BEFORE THE FACT: PRACTICE KINDNESS

God still relates to us in love in spite of every sinful action and thought He sees in us. His love and kindness to us is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4). God doesn't just show mercy. He is merciful. We are called to continue in the kindness we have received (Romans 11:22). This means we are to continually show mercy and kindness not just when we are sinned against. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). You need to sow mercy into your marriage that that mercy grows continually.

MERCY WHEN UNDER ATTACK: DO UNTO OTHERS

We don't enjoy having sin committed against us so let us not commit sin against our spouse. Ask yourself, "What patters of sin are causing persistent problems in my marriage?" When you're not fighting ask your spouse, "What behavior of mine expresses anger or lack of love for you?"  

MERCY AFTER THE FACT: COVER SIN

Small sins cause some of the biggest fires in marriage. Scripture says that we can overlook these offenses (Proverbs 19:11). In overlooking the sin, we don't ignore it or act like it didn't happen, instead we choose to forgive and not bring it up or dwell on it.  This is different than letting patterns of sin or egregious sin going unchecked. Nevertheless, there are times when we can cover a multitude of sins with forbearance (1 Peter 4:8). Covering sin with love removes it being an issue. 

MERCY DEFEATS OUR TRUE ENEMY

Self-righteousness shows up when people sin against us or we encounter their weaknesses. We all have sin. We all have weaknesses (physical or spiritual). We need God's mercy and we must pass it on. We need to sympathize with others in their sin and weakness. Self-righteous people act like they have no sin or weaknesses. Jesus was tempted and yet without sin. Consequently, He can sympathize with us and offer us help (Hebrew 4:15).  Would your spouse say that you sympathize with their weaknesses or that you sit in judgment over them?

MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT

Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy (Matthew 5:7).

BOOK SUMMARY: WHEN SINNERS SAY I DO - CHAPTER 4 - TEST DRIVE YOUR DOCTRINE

PUT IN IN DRIVE

When God saves us, God continues to draw us to His love as He teaches us by His Word. How do we act on what we know and believe about God? How do we apply wisdom to marriage. Wisdom is a life of decisions when someone is rightly related to God. Wisdom isn't how much you know. It's a life submitted to God in our thinking and doing. Ultimately, Christ is our wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:30). That's why we can ask God for it (James 1:5).  

FIRST GEAR: IN HUMILITY SUSPECT YOURSELF FIRST

As the chief of sinners, true humility is living confidently in Christ's righteousness and being suspicious of our own. In marital conflicts, being primarily and regularly suspicious of myself means that I've acknowledged that my heart plays the central role in my behavior and that my heart is prone to wander from God and His ways.   

SECOND GEAR: IN INTEGRITY, INSPECT YOURSELF

We often want to fix our marriages problems by fixing our spouse. Scripture doesn't give us permission to make our spouse's sins first priority (Matthew 7:3-5). Hypocrites are speck focused. Our primary duty is to inspect ourselves first. Jesus' emphasis is not on who is more at fault but on whom your focus is. If you suspect yourself (humility), then you are more likely to inspect yourself first (integrity). This will lower your irritation and soften your tone. In your conflict are you trying to vindicate yourself, be proven right, show yourself spiritually superior...or are you serving your spouse and trying to bless them?

THIRD GEAR: ADMIT THAT CIRCUMSTANCES ONLY REVEAL EXISTING SIN

Blame-shifting will fool some of the people some of the time, but it will never fool God any of the time. No one makes us sin. We don't sin because of our circumstances. See Matthew 15:10-20. Sin is already in our heart. That's where the problem is.

FOURTH GEAR: FOCUS ON UNDESERVED GRACE, NOT UNMET NEEDS

Secular counselors believe marriage problems are due to unmet needs. The Bible says that the problem is unsatisfied desires (James 4:1-2).  Scripture places the blame for conflict on how bad I want something regardless of how legitimate that desire is.  Can our spouse's behavior tempt us to sin? Absolutely, but they can never make us sin. That comes from within. 

Needs are not wrong. We are dependent on God to meet our needs. But genuine needs and desires disguised as needs are different. It's not wrong to desire various expressions of affection, but those good things are out of order if we define them as needs. When we define desires as needs we can become demanding or manipulating. Our truest needs are met in Christ's death and resurrection.

BOOK SUMMARY: WHEN SINNERS SAY I DO - CHAPTER 3 - THE FOG OF WAR AND THE LAW OF SIN

Summary: Chapter 1 - We must have an accurate biblical theology. Chapter 2 - We must believe that each of us is the worst of sinners. Chapter 3 - We'll look at the nature of sin and how we tend to respond to it.

When we are sinned against, we are typically tempted to get angry with our spouse. But our goal should be to defeat sin, not to let it break out. If fighting ensues, then we are called to be peacemakers. The benefit of the new birth is that we can have victory over sin as we are informed by God's Word and empowered by His Spirit. Our marriages can be redeemed and they can grow in sweetness. 

FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM IN THE CLASH OF DESIRES

In Galatians 5:1 we learn that those who are free in Christ are free from trying to be justified by obedience to the OT Law. We  are not to remain under the tyranny of the law but neither should we use our freedom in Christ to embrace sin (Galatians 5:13).  The conflicts we have in our marriages are a clash of desires between the flesh and the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). The flesh is a phrase we synonymously with remaining sin, the sin nature, the old man, indwelling sin.  And the flesh keeps us from doing the things we want to do. Although Christ paid the price for our sin, sin still remains. We have been saved from sin's penalty (justification) and still need to be saved from the desire to sin (sanctification). We cannot wrongly blame our sin on the behavior of our spouse. We cannot rightly say, "we have marriage problems." We should say, "I have a sin problem." 

SO HOW DID THIS FIGHT GET STARTED?

Without exception, we are the problem. Jesus made it clear. What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart and this defiles a person (Matthew 15:18-20a).  James explains that it's our passions at war within us that cause us to quarrel (James 4:1-3).  When asked, "What is wrong with the world?" G.K. Chesteron replied, "I am."  

THE FOG OF WAR

The war against sin can feel chaotic and confusing (Romans 7:22-23). Sometimes sin within is surprising. That is expressed in words like, "I can't believe I did that" or "Where did that come from?" Any sin can pop us at any time and any sin can become enslaving.  The law of sin keeps us from admitting our faults, from fulfilling our responsibilities, from spending time with God, from investing in each other and so much more. We are often good at seeing the law of sin in our spouse but not in ourselves. 

THE BETRAYAL OF SIN

• Sin is crafty - We depend on God for our needs, but sin flips that around and makes God accountable to us for our wants. Although we are blessed by God, sin says that we are victimized by God. 
• Sin is alluring - "Don't be silly, Eve. You're not going to die. You'll become like him." Eve went from being accountable to a loving God to being a victim of an insecure God who was pathetically threatened by her autonomy.  
• Sin is treacherous - Thomas Watson wrote, "Sin first courts, and then kills. Whoever sin kills, it betrays."  See James 1:15

DANCING ON THE FIELD OF VICTORY

We do not have to be disheartened when sin shows us. Romans 8:1-4 teaches us that we are not condemned in Christ. Jesus took in His flesh (body) the penalty we deserve for walking in the flesh (sin nature). God does not view us in relations to our sin but in relation to Christ. He did for us what the law of God requires and we get the credit for that by faith. Then His Spirit helps us to walk accordingly. 

BOOK SUMMARY: WHEN SINNERS SAY I DO - CHAPTER 2 - WAKING UP WITH THE WORST OF SINNERS

If I love my spouse, why do I find it so easy to treat them like I don't?  We can be harsh, critical, inconsiderate, frustrated, unappreciative and so much more in a host of situations. We aren't immune from these sins or situations simply because we are Christians.

PAUL'S CONFESSION AND OURS

In 1 Timothy 1:15 Paul states that Christ came to save sinners of whom he [Paul] is the foremost. Paul is not comparing himself to others but talking about what goes on in his own heart. He sees more of his own sin on a daily basis than anyone else's sin. He's the biggest sinner he knows. Paul then goes on to say that Jesus Christ displayed His perfect patience to the foremost of sinners as an example of the kind of saving that Jesus can do. In light of God's holiness, Paul was aware of his sin. He likewise was aware of God's mercy when contrasted against his sin.

THE BIBLICAL REALITY OF JOYFUL WRETCHES

A great awareness of our sin leads us to exult in God (1 Timothy 1:17).  To think that our sin is small results in loving others less (Luke 7:47). We must see our sin a vastly disgusting, so that grace is amazing, so that may love God and others correctly. Until sin be bitter, marriage may not be sweet.

ROB, SALLY, AND THE REST OF US

If our fights are not grounded in this reality, the proper solutions will escape up.  Our sin pitted up against God's grace enables us to overlook sin, to correct our spouse graciously and to be patient when repentance doesn't come about as quickly as we'd like. Understanding that we are sinners that are being saved from the desire to sin, we can know that God is using us to help our spouse to become more like Christ. Understanding our sin nature and God's purpose in saving us will also make it easier to receive correction from our spouse when we are in sin. Secular psychology does not have the answers to our dilemma and helps us to justify our sin (birth order, temperament, addiction, dysfunctional families, etc,) and leaves you in victim status. If you take away the reality of sin, then possibility of repentance is removed and there is no hope of salvation in Christ. When you admit that you're the worst sinner you know, you appreciate God's grace and grant grace to your spouse. 

 

THE WORST THING ABOUT SIN

All sin is, firstly, against God. Our very nature is offensive to God (Romans 3:23, Romans 5:12). Sin is not wrong because of what it does to others, but because it's rebellion against God. Fixing sin isn't just about restoring peace between husband and wife, but about walking in the way God created us to be and saved us for.

WORST OF SINNERS-BEST OF WORLDS!

When we recognize that we are the worst sinners, then we'll be a better spouse. Don't fear being too hard on yourself. Remember that you are in Christ. We are the beloved of God. Christ is at work in us conforming us to His image. A sober assessment of our sin will not hinder God's work it us. Rather, it celebrates the work of God. John Owen wrote, "There are two things that are suited to humble the soul of men, a due consideration of God, and then of ourselves. Of God, in his greatness, glory, holiness, power, majesty, and authority; of ourselves, in our mean, abject, and sinful condition."

BOOK SUMMARY: THE CHRIST KEY - CHAPTER 6A - THE SANCTUARY GARDEN OF GOD, PAGES 109-116

INTRO: The architecture, furnishings and layout of the temple revealed God’s character and will for Israel.  The Lord’s OT homes look backward (creation) as well as forward (re-creation). There is a Christological Architecture in God’s house. The layout of God’s homes in Scripture is as follows

(1).       Genesis and the Creation Account

(2).       The Tabernacle as the New Eden

(3).       The Temple as the Tabernacle/Eden Expanded

(4).       The Work of the Messiah and His Church

(5).       The New Heavens and New Earth

The tabernacle was fashioned after the garden of Eden. In the garden, Adam and Eve served as priests in God’s temple-garden.

WORLD-CREATING AND TABERNACLE-MAKING

The creation account bears the marks of priestly literature. It’s presented in an orderly fashion. Divine acts are formal, systematic, and repetitive like sections of Leviticus. Creation week ends with the Sabbath which was crucial to Israel’s worship calendar. To read the creation account is like reading about a cosmic liturgy overseen by a Divine Priest. Genesis contains priestly language. 

• BADAL - The Hebrew word badal means to separate or make a distinction. God separated light and darkness, waters above and waters below and heavenly lights. In the rest of the OT the same word is used primarily in ritual contexts. The Most Holy Place was separated from the Holy Place (Exodus 26:33) and the priests had to make a distinction between holy and unholy things (Leviticus 10:10).

• MO’ED – It means a place of meeting or appointed time. The tent of meeting (mo’ed) is spoken of in Leviticus 1:1, 3. The same word is used in Genesis 1:14 in regard to seasons or appointed times. Heavenly lights are for appointed times connected with sanctuary worship.

• A SEVEN-FOLD PATTERN – Seven times God said creation was good or very good. God gave Moses blueprints for the tabernacle in seven speeches that started with “The Lord spoke.” See Exodus 25:1, 30:11, 30:17, 30:22, 30:34, 31:1, 31:12. The creation week ends with the Sabbath and the tabernacle instructions end with a speech about the Sabbath (Exodus 31:12-17).

• RA’AH / ASAH – Ra’ah means see. Asah means do/make. Both words are used at the completion of creation week and the tabernacle (Genesis1:31, Exodus 39:43).

• KALAH / M’LAKAH – Kalah means finished. M’lakah means work. God finished his work (Genesis 2:2). Moses finished the work (Exodus 40:33). The completion of the tabernacle is linguistically being linked to creation week.

• BARAK / KOL M’LAKAH – Barak means blessed. Kol M’lakah means all the work. Both are used in Genesis 2:3 and Exodus39:43.  Blessing or benediction followed the completed work.

• BEGINNING OF TIME / BEGINNING OF THE MONTH – Creation started time. The tabernacle was erected on the first day of the month (Exodus 40:2).

• THE SPIRIT OF GOD – The Spirit of God hovered over the face of the waters (Genesis 1:2). The Spirit of God was upon Bezalel to fill him with all knowledge and abilities to build the tabernacle (Exodus 31:3-5). 

The connections between creation and the tabernacle are undeniable. Creation was meant to be a cosmic tabernacle/temple where God dwells with humanity.  God had priests in His creation-temple (Adam and Eve). Sin ruined this ideal plan. The later Jewish tabernacle and temple were not God’s final plan. God would need a perfect priest to come and restore things and bring in a final new creation temple.

THE PRIESTLY COUPLE AND THE GARDEN TABERNACLE

Adam and Eve were placed in the garden and told to work (avad) and keep (shamar) it (Genesis 2:15). These two words are used together in regard to priestly duties. Avad is usually translated at serve. Shamar is translated as guard. Priests were to guard the tabernacle and serve the Lord (Numbers 3:7-8). Later priests were modeled after what Adam and Eve did. Adam was to serve in the garden and guard it, which he failed to do. Adam was to be careful to guard the command of God to not eat of the forbidden tree. A threat of death followed. The same is true of the OT priests. A threat of death came after the priests were given specific commands regarding their service (Exodus 28:35, 28:43, 30:20-21). Adam and Eve were to guard the garden from the serpent and his lies just as later guards and gatekeepers were to make sure that no one unclean should enter the temple (2 Chronicles 23:19). Adam and Eve failed at their priestly duties. They were exiled from the garden-temple and placed cherubim with flaming swords at the entrance of the garden-temple to guard it and the way to the tree of life (Genesis 3:24). Another priest was promised who would defeat Satan (Genesis 3:15) and eventually remove Him from God’s eternal dwelling place with humanity.

The later tabernacle and temple were laden with images from the garden of Eden. There was the menorah which was a lampstand that was a flowering tree just like the tree of life (Exodus 25:33, 1 Kings 7:49). On the tabernacle curtains were images of cherubim (Exodus 26:1).  The two doors leading into the Holy of Holies were covered with images of cherubim, palm trees and open flowers (1 Kings 6:32). Floral life, animal life and cherubim where everywhere in the temple remind us of the garden-temple of Eden. Israel was given a new mobile Eden—a home where God would dwell among them.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(1).  Why is it necessary to see this massive theme of God’s home in Scripture?

(2).  Consider Jesus’s name Emmanuel. How is that connected to what we’re learning about?

(3).  If humanity was created to be priests of God, what do you think is required of us?

(4).  How does the notion of you being a royal priest shape your understanding of your life (1 Peter 2:9)?

(5).  If you were to glance at the layout of God’s homes on earth, what sort of forward movement do you see?

BOOK SUMMARY: WHEN SINNERS SAY I DO - CHAPTER 1 - WHAT REALLY MATTERS IN MARRIAGE

GOOD QUESTION, GREAT ANSWER

What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage. Everyday things we say in our marriage relationship reveal assumptions we have adopted about who we are, what we need, what’s really important and how God figures all into it.  The strength of your entire life, which includes your marriage, is wrapped up in your knowing of God--theology.

What theology is revealed in a statement like, “You’ll never change!”?

 

FIRST THINGS FIRST: LINING UP THE BUTTONS

If you get your theology right, all other areas of life begin to, or at least have a chance to, line up correctly.

• The Foundation of Your Marriage: The Bible - We get our understanding of God and reality from Scripture. In Scripture we encounter Jesus from Genesis to Revelation. He is Truth. Truth-based marriages are centered on the Christ of Scripture. God’s Word concerning Christ will fill our marriages with eternal significance. This is where the strength and durability of our marriages comes from.

• The Foundation of Your Marriage: The Gospel - Humanity was created to live and rule with God as image bearers (Genesis). Sin ruined that. Scripture shows this image and relationship restored with God in a new creation (Revelation). Everything between the first couple chapters of Genesis as the last couple chapters or Revelation is in preparation for the gospel, presentation of the gospel or participation in the gospel. Scripture explains our most basic problem: sin has separated us from God and it has ruined relationships with each other. Scripture explains our only hope: the gospel of Christ. The gospel isn’t just for evangelism and getting saved. The gospel provides power to resist sin and hope that we can be transformed daily into better image bearers until we attain complete perfection when Christ comes again. Without the gospel, you cannot see God, yourself, or your marriage for what they truly are.

• The Focus Of Your Marriage: The Glory of God - Marriage was invented by God and belongs to God. It exists more for him than for us. If your goal isn’t to glorify God, you shouldn’t get marriage, yet.  Ephesians 5:22-33 provides a reference point for all our actions in marriage.  Marriage is meant to be a parable whereby we glorify God by displaying and acting out the eternal union between Christ and His church. This is why you should want to get married 

 

MARRIAGE IS STREET-LEVEL THEOLOGY

Christ came to save sinners. You have been saved (justification) but are still in need of saving. Marriage will reveal areas that need present salvation (sanctification) as we await final salvation (glorification). Problems within marriage are a result of our sinful hearts that need sanctifying.  You are committing your life to a sinner that needs sanctifying. You are a sinner that needs sanctifying. Are you committed to helping each other in sanctification through Scripture? Our root problem is not a lack of information, dedication or poor communication. Our root problem is the sin war within.

 

• Till Sin Be Bitter, Christ Will Not Be Sweet - If sin ruins our relationship with God and others, then a removal of it in any capacity will increase our relationship with God and others. The gospel is the remedy.

• Where Do We Go From Here? - God’s grace for living godly marriages comes through the Scriptural counsel, accountability and examples we receive from others in our church. This helps keep our knowledge of God correct which is worked out in our thoughts, actions and emotions. God wants your marriage thriving for His glory. He wants you to enjoy marriage.